The unintentionally hilarious investor proposal states that “KISS CoffeeHouse – Melbourne is the ultimate brand synergy between the hottest band in the world, KISS, and the highly caffeinated, coffee entrepreneur, Steve Agi.’’
Agi plans to spend $1.5 million revamping the vacant Tea House next to the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre and need to find a few more KISS fans to help him raise $5million bill to cover all costs, including the brand licensing.
Potential investors are promised amazing perks including:
* An invitation to meet KISS and ‘’other celebrities that are part of the KISS entourage’’.
* Membership of the KISS Army.
* Input into the design of the premises.
* First option to take a share in subsequent KISS CoffeeHouses.
* Special VIP invite with five friends to all VIP events, including the grand opening and appearances by KISS.
* Rare KISS merchandise and paraphernalia, ‘’signed personally to the investor.’
The proposal makes several ambitious claims, including a first-year return of between 5 and 10 per cent, and that the value of the $250,000 investment will ‘’double after 12 months’’. It also claims a ‘’risk of failure at ZERO’’.
The Sydney Morning Herald report sagely notes that these claims are “not backed up by financial estimates, costings or an independent report”.
It’s not a totally insane venture; the original KISS CoffeeHouse in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, has been successfully selling “rockuccinos” and “rockiatos” in two sizes – gold and platinum – to American tourists since summer 2006.
Until next time keep rockin'
The 0800 Jukebox crew.
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