To be fair, this wasn't Rihanna's fault: The child fans bombarded her while she was wandering the streets of New York. It's a little like the time you surprised your significant other by opening the door naked, only to discover Grandma was dropping by to return that casserole dish early. It's so awkward when disparate spheres of self-presentation intersect. But, hey, these kids have a way cooler memento than bargained for: Wall-to-wall tabloid coverage! Everybody wins when pop stars corrupt America's youth.