Thursday, April 8, 2010

KISS Coffee House

KISS Coffee House Melbourne is set to open on New Years Eve according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald.

The unintentionally hilarious investor proposal states that “KISS CoffeeHouse – Melbourne is the ultimate brand synergy between the hottest band in the world, KISS, and the highly caffeinated, coffee entrepreneur, Steve Agi.’’

Agi plans to spend $1.5 million revamping the vacant Tea House next to the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre and need to find a few more KISS fans to help him raise $5million bill to cover all costs, including the brand licensing.

Potential investors are promised amazing perks including:
    * An invitation to meet KISS and ‘’other celebrities that are part of the KISS entourage’’.
    * Membership of the KISS Army.
    * Input into the design of the premises.
    * First option to take a share in subsequent KISS CoffeeHouses.
    * Special VIP invite with five friends to all VIP events, including the grand opening and appearances by KISS.
    * Rare KISS merchandise and paraphernalia, ‘’signed personally to the investor.’

The proposal makes several ambitious claims, including a first-year return of between 5 and 10 per cent, and that the value of the $250,000 investment will ‘’double after 12 months’’. It also claims a ‘’risk of failure at ZERO’’.

The Sydney Morning Herald report sagely notes that these claims are “not backed up by financial estimates, costings or an independent report”.

It’s not a totally insane venture; the original KISS CoffeeHouse in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, has been successfully selling “rockuccinos” and “rockiatos” in two sizes – gold and platinum – to American tourists since summer 2006.

Until next time keep rockin'
The 0800 Jukebox crew.

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